Dean's Dangerous Day
by taboo-starbow
Summary: Dean wants to spend the day being rebellious. Seamus has no choice but to follow him around, even if he gets beat up along the way. Deamus light hearted fun.


Kyaa! As of writing, I have two reviewers on my first story. I'm very happy! I'm going to briefly answer them here, so everyone else, bear with me, okay?

_**broadwaybaby529**_- Or should I call you Ruby? Well, either way! My name isn't Seamus Dwyer, but that's cool, I haven't met another gay boy named Seamus outside of Harry Potter. :3 I'VE ALSO READ A BUNCH YOUR STUFF AND IT'S REALLY GOOD. … -clears throat- carrying on… I was worried about sticking to the characters, I'm unsure how to portray them too well, so I'm really grateful for your comments. Thanks a bunch! –huggle- Unfortunately this story that you're about to read is pretty… out there. Very non canon. xD

_**Euclidian**_- Awwn, your review made me blush! Hee. Seamus, just like me though?! That's a crazy thought. Two Seamus Finnigans in the world would make everything EXPLODE. And, no, I don't have a beta; I should poke around for one, but I'm really shy when it comes to meeting new people. Ah also also also! If I said things like "colour" in the last story (… I'm too lazy to check), that's blamed on british spelling. But I'm sure there are definitely things that I missed, and I'll use your comments as motivations to find a beta! –double thumbs up!-

Okay, other stuff!

**Disclaimer:** Once again, if I owned Harry Potter, there'd be lots more canon boy love. And also, this story was inspired by something I read once about someone causing mischief but having no idea what mischief was… no idea what it was though, I read it years ago. Only remembered it because I had a dream which was basically this exact fanfiction and it reminded me of that cute little short story. xD

**Rating:** PG!

**Notes:** This is probably more humor-focused than my last story. There's still romance, but not as much; still enough to be in the romance category, but I wouldn't really read the story if it's your main concern. This is more just fun and lighthearted. Definitely a bit of crazy, though. Next story I do will be far more canonical and fluffy cute, I promise!

**Summary: **Dean wants to spend the day being rebellious. Seamus has no choice but to follow him around, even if he gets beat up along the way. Deamus light hearted fun.

AND HERE WE GO. :3

--

"Seamus, are you free?"

Seamus looked up from the spongy arm chair in the common room. Being a particularly cold afternoon, most of Gryffindor had crowded around the fireplace for warmth, many casting envious glances at the Irishman that refused to leave his seat.

Seamus folded his arms and pouted his bottom lip. Dean's eyebrow twitched.

Pausing once to look at his chair with a sigh, he nodded. A first year mouse was going to take his seat if Dean made him stand up, Seamus just knew it.

Dean smiled and clasped his hands together.

"Seamus … I want you to … do naughty things with me!"

…

Seamus' face twisted into a look of utter shock and embarrassment.

"Wh-wh-wh-what's with you suddenly saying the #2 Thing on the "What We Want to Hear Dean Thomas Say" list that we made while you were sleeping by surveying everyone in the common room I mean we made a vote seeing if you would ever ask anyone something like that and people think if you got drunk you would try to woo Professor Snape but I thought that was silly but oh Dean okay I understand I'll help you climb the path to adulthood— GWAAAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D SAY—!!"

"Atone for your sins!!" Dean smacked his thick sketchbook against his friend's face, leaving Seamus whining in pain and clinging to his forehead. "What sort of crazed misunderstanding is this?! I don't know exactly what it is you're thinking about, but you've got it all wrong! I did not expect to be dating someone with such a dirty mind."

Dean ignored the group of scared first years at his feet as he pointed a paintbrush at Seamus' nose.

"Since today is a very special day, I thought I would do some naughty things I normally wouldn't be able to." Dean huffed and folded his arms as if this explained everything.

"A-and you want me as your… uh… partner in crime?" Seamus rubbed his forehead, sulking.

"Of course I do." Dean pointed his paintbrush at his friend again. "Who else is rebellious enough to tag along? Nobody else here is a bad enough student. And if I get detention, I'd rather spend it with you. As you're my boyfriend, it's your obligation."

"Ahh…" Seamus looked up at his friend and furrowed his brow. "Wait, very special day? What happened today?"

Dean grinned with a look at pride. "Today, four years ago, I was a tiny little second year." His grin grew wider, to the point of scariness. "A certain irish friend of mine let off dung bombs in the great hall. I defended him, and we both got detention." Dean rubbed his hands together; combined with his grin, it looked like he was some sort of mad scientist. "Four years ago today, I got my first and only detention!"

Seamus stared. "… But you've had other detentions then that, surely that's no reason to celebra—"

"Let's go!" Dean grabbed his friend by the collar, dragging him out the portrait hole.

"Kyaaaaannnn…! But it's cooooooold…"

First years stared with shock after the pair… before scrambling haphazardly to steal Seamus' old seat.

--

"… Why are we in Hogsmeade?"

Dean smiled at his friend. "This is one of our targets. Part one of our objective, if you will."

…

Seamus looked around the marketplace, worry slowly dawning over his face.

"… Dean? This … don't tell me, we're gonna shoplif—"

"REPENT!" Dean smacked his friend with his sketchbook across the cheek, Seamus letting out a "kyaaan!" and recoiling.

"Do you think that as a well respected member of the Gryffindor house I would stoop so low to do something as hideous as that?! I'm not someone like you, you know! To even suggest something like that! Why, I never knew I was best friends with a Slytherin!"

"I haven't shoplifted once in me life!" whined Seamus. Dean was already distracted, looking over at Hogsmeade with a satisfied eye.

"Well then…"

Briskly making his way down the street, Dean searched for a certain, familiar building. He spotted it, and with a "Ha!" of triumph, he entered Honeydukes, Seamus trailing behind him.

Seamus looked around the store with a dazed smile, drooling slightly. Ahh, Honeydukes. No matter where you're from, you can always appreciate good snacks.

Dean's face fell into shadows as he grinned with a maniacal glee. Slowly, ever so slowly, he picked up a very small, inexpensive piece of chocolate. Handing it to the employee, he waited, scarcely able to keep from laughing.

"That will be two knuts, please" sang the employee with a smile.

With a dark, sadistic pleasure, Dean held out twenty galleons.

"I'LL HAVE CHANGE FOR THIS, PLEASE."

The employee smiled warmly, taking the money and going through her cash register. "Five, six, seven…" she counted, not at all troubled.

Dean's face cracked into an even toothier grin.

"Look! Look, Seamus!" Dean looked back at his friend, pumping his fist in triumph. "That must be such a pain! THIS IS A SUCCESS."

"… your sense of accomplishment …" Seamus sighed. It was strange. Usually he was the trouble maker. With Dean's idea of what naughtiness is, it was no wonder. "Why are you so rich anyway?"

"Oh, this could become such a habit." Dean looked as if he was receiving a pleasure nothing else on earth could give him. He gripped his tie as his breath became labored, while Seamus took the change from the ever-smiling employee.

"Alright!" Dean pocketed the heavy amount of bronze and silver coins he received from Seamus. "Next target acquired! Are you ready, Shay? I bet you're scared, huh?" Dean smirked with a superior attitude. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone."

Seamus rolled his eyes. Honestly, Dean was more fun when he was painting and Seamus was the one doing something crazy.

Dean sang and skipped with a ridiculously merry attitude as he made his way down the street. Getting to his next destination, he pointed to a large sign on the wall, big bright red letters that said "Zonko's Joke Shop". Gold lettering beneath it said "Closed for the day."

"And next we have a standard destination for a day of mischief."

… Seamus stared.

"Why are we here anyway? I mean honestly I don't see why you're bothering celebrating like this when you can be doing something worthwhile like painting or drawing me a picture of getting me an anniversary gift--"

"Well, anyway," Dean smiled, pointing at the store.

Seamus' heart leapt in his chest. "Wait, Dean! You're going to break in through the windows--?!"

"REPENT!" Dean squealed, hitting Seamus in the back of the head with his sketchbook. "That would cause a huge scene! Don't even be ridiculous!"

"Gaaahgh! Jeez! Why are you even carrying that around?! You aren't even drawi—"

"Well, anyway," Dean smiled again, still pointing at the store. "It's locked, but I bet we can get inside."

Dean placed his finger on the door.

Seamus stared.

Dean stared with intense concentration at the door to the shop.

Seamus stared with intense confusion at his best friend.

Dean's face cracked into a wide, godly expression of satisfaction. "So… exciting…"

…

"That's it…" Dean smiled even wider.

"… That's it?"

"Haaa…! If I… if I push even more… if I push just a little harder… it's even more exciting…!" A shiver ran down Dean's spine.

Seamus arched an eyebrow. "This… this is like sex for you, isn't it, Dean? … honestly, I just think it's more exciting that you think pushing on a locked door is naughty--"

"Don't worry about it."

Soon, Dean had grown tired of pretending to enter the closed shop – literally tired, as his knees sank with one violent tremble – and made his way to their third and final target. They had gone back inside the castle, Seamus reflecting that at least all this walking had made him warm.

Dean led his way with Seamus to the bottom of the dungeon. "Here's our next target!" he smiled, pointing at Snape's office.

…

Seamus bit his lip. He knew he'd get attacked again if he asked, but he had to…

"… robbing from a teacher…?"

Moving faster than the speed of light, Dean beat his friend multiple times – throwing pencils at him, throwing paintbrushes at him, throwing sketchbooks at him, throwing pencil cases at him, all the while screaming "REPENT!" "ATONE FOR YOUR SINS!" "REGRET YOUR ACTIONS AND ASK MERLIN FOR FORGIVENESS!"

"I like your sunny disposition, Seamus," smiled Dean, looking at the office's door and ignoring his bloodstained friend, who was quietly sobbing on the stone floor.

Knocking once on the door to make sure Snape wasn't in, Dean soon snuck in with a giggle. Seamus rubbed his head, sighed, mumbled something about how he definitely needed a new best friend, and followed Dean inside.

"So… what are we doing? … We're not doing something like grave robbing, are we!?" Seamus covered his head before it got attacked.

Dean blinked. "That's just silly. There are no graves in Professor Snape's office. Why, I'm sure if he were to kill a student for getting a zero on their test, he'd dispose of the body in a proper, environmentally friendly fashion."

Dean pointed at the supplies closet. "This is why we're here."

…

"… stealing from a teacher?"

"I ALREADY TOLD YOU, NO." Dean hit his friend to the back with the heavy side of his sketchbook, tutting about teenagers these days.

"No, what we're here for is this," Dean pointed to the labels on various potion ingredients, his friend sobbing and rubbing his spine. "We're going to… mix them up!"

Dean pulled off the label to the tiny bottle labeled "Unicorn saliva", and with a shuddering and nervous laugh, replaced it with a label named "Twelve legged cat venom".

"Aaaah!"

The teenager shivered as he replaced more labels. The bottle for "seaweed" soon became the bottle for "lettuce", the bottle for "sugar" soon became the bottle for "ultra poisonous sinister evil acid dust"… this Olympic-sized event continued for a few more minutes, until Dean and Seamus heard a dull "he-hem" from behind them.

Slowly turning around, his hand still clasped on the jar of nutmeg which had recently been labeled as the jar of powdered ant eggs, Dean flashed a terrified smile. Seamus, though he hadn't even been doing anything, did so as well.

Snape's looming figure stood before them, a look of irritation and sadistic pleasure in his eyes.

"Why… don't… you… two… have… a… seat… over… there…?"

Seamus and Dean coughed, laughing. "Oh, well, um, we're just…"

"Sit down."

… after that, Dean and Seamus were scolded by Professor Snape. It was entirely expected when the two of them shared detention the next day. Dean had come to his senses when they were in detention, blushing profusely about all that he had done. How could he have been so… so… insane?! So DANGEROUS?! He must have broken so many laws! He was going to be thrown into Azkaban for sure! He spent the day thanking the heavens that he had dark skin. If anyone could see his face, he would have died. Seamus held his hand through detention, though.

"It's cute when you're crazy, Dean… but don't act like this too often, okay? It just goes to show, you really shouldn't do naughty things, after all."

--

The end! Did you like it? I had a dream that was basically this entire dream, from start to finish. It was cute. I tried my best to write it out as properly as I remembered it, but I had to make stuff up like the Honeydukes part. Otherwise it wasn't very long. So that part wasn't in my dream, but the rest was! So yeah. Review, and check out my other story too!


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